Mom's Diner

Well, this isn't a post for everyone. But if you are, have, or will breastfeed - or if you just like to read about tatas - then get comfy.

Even before I was pregnant, I always knew I would breastfeed. It just makes sense. What I didn't know, was exactly how much work it really is.

Violet latched on straight out of the gate. In fact, we hadn't even been wheeled out of the operating room yet and she was already sucking away. She knew exactly what to do and had no problem doing it. When she wanted to nurse she would root around on whatever she could get to - arms, shoulder, her Daddy's hairy nipple. We call that move the woodpecker. These days she's smartened up and knows the precise location. She'll open her mouth and wiggle her head back and forth like a wee little bird. Most babies are born knowing how to nurse and they really want to. It's comforting. For this reason, I just can't imagine saying no to breastfeeding just because you don't want to do it. But hey, it's a personal choice.

Violet was born in the evening and slept a lot her first night. A whole lot. She didn't wake to nurse at all. I had to wake her every couple of hours and offer it to her. Well. Her second night was a doozy. She wanted to nurse constantly. And when I say constantly, I don't mean every hour. I don't mean every thirty minutes. I mean constantly. All the night long.

The lactation consultant told me she was cluster feeding and that it was normal. What wasn't normal was the bags under my eyes the size of Texas. It was routine at the birthing center to let newborns stay in the room with you, instead of the nursery. Every time a nurse would come into our room throughout the night they would give me this sympathetic look and offer to take Violet to the nursery so I could sleep. I refused. If there's one thing I've learned about babies, it's that they do things for a reason. They cry because they want something. Milk production is like supply and demand, so if they're cluster feeding it's to make more milk. Or in this case, to bring my milk in. I know the nurses were just trying to help me, but Violet needed me. She needed to nurse for comfort in her strange new world. I didn't want a "break" from her. So, I sat the bed up, built a pillow fort all around me, and nursed my baby.

After we came home I had to put my big girl pants on and deal with the cracked nipples. Some say that if you have a proper latch you won't get cracked nipples. Bologna. Violet was nursing every 1-2 hours and I didn't have a life. It was really hard. Nursing itself wasn't hard. The lifestyle change was hard. At that point each session would last at least 30 minutes, then when she would finish it would only be 30 more minutes before she wanted to nurse again. I think a lot of people quit at this point. If you are someone who needs a lot of "me time" (or any at all, really) then breastfeeding is seriously going to impede on your one hour showers and your hair straightening time.

I can honestly say that I never once considered quitting. It was exhausting at times, but I enjoyed the bonding. Plus, it's just the right thing to do - in my opinion. Things have leveled out now and the hardest part is over. They say breastfeeding is intuitive, and a lot of it is. But there is still stuff to learn. I googled so many different things during Violet's first few weeks of life and 90% of it was related to breastfeeding. The information you find is overwhelming - Hind milk, fore milk, cluster feeding, growth spurts, forceful letdown, oversupply, undersupply, allergies. I could go on, but for your sake I won't.

Violet is now 10 weeks old and breastfeeding is mostly a breeze. Mostly.


WHY IT'S HARD

- It hurts in the beginning. Engorgement, cracked nipples, plugged ducts - Oh my!
- If you're a worry wart like me, then you're constantly wondering if that pizza you ate last night is the reason you have a fussy baby today. Or if your milk supply is waning.
- You lose a lot of independence. You can't go far, because you're feeding another human. You can always pump, but feeding straight from the tap is much better (and easier).
- You're the one getting up in the middle of the night, while Dad is in never never land.
- You can't have whatever you want. For this reason, I think about Starbucks and wine all the time. 
- You feel heavily responsible for the health and happiness of that babe. You and you alone are the food source. That's heavy.


WHY IT'S WORTH IT

- It's the best for your baby. You can't get more organic. Take that Whole Foods.
- The bonding is amazing. It makes you feel wanted and special.
- It's less cumbersome than juggling formula supplies. Who wants to get up and mix formula at 3 am? Not to mention all of the bottle washing. No says I.
- It's affordable! Milk on tap - And it's free!
- Why work out when you can breastfeed? I know it doesn't work like this for everyone, but I lost all of my baby weight in three weeks. Yee haw!
- Aunt Flo isn't coming to visit for a while. And you're not going to miss her one bit.