Ashworth Alcove

People strive for normalcy. The state of being usual. Things are typical and expected. Life is funny in that way. People think they are spontaneous when they decide to go out unexpectedly, when they say yes to an offer to have drinks on a Wednesday night, when they do something that's not normal. When they break free from the daily round. But really, they're still living in normalcy. They come home to the same home, with the same stuff in the same places. They turn on the same roads, they eat at the same restaurants.They do this for years, their whole life even. People take this for granted. People take normalcy for granted. At times I long for normalcy. You see, many aspects of my life are temporary. Our homes are always temporary, and I'm not talking like the Carrie Underwood song about our "temporary home" here on earth or whatever. No, I'm saying that our literal houses are always temporary. Does it sound silly that all I really wan...

The hard part is over. We got on that plane with a baby and survived to tell the tale. As the universe would have it, we weren't even the people whose baby cried the whole time. The flight went well. Violet nursed during take off to help with the pressure change. I thought the ascent may bother her head and ears, but instead she left a big pudding pie in her diaper for me during takeoff. I went in search of the "changing table" as soon as the seat belt light went off. What I found was a tiny space about the size of a school cafeteria lunch trays. It was a humbling diaper change. Violet slept most of the flight and when she wasn't sleeping she was entertaining the people around us with cheesy grins and heil Hitler waves. Some of the gentlemen would wink, which Violet responded to with a nose scrunch. We stayed in a hotel for two nights until our household goods were delivered. The whole process actually went surprisingly smooth. Vio...

Growth & Appearance: Your hair is starting to get thicker. Your face has actually gotten a little thinner. I'm not saying it's thin, it's still chubby. I'm saying a little of the fat has migrated to your thighs. They're not stopping any time soon. You hold you head up differently now, giving you more of a neck. Your body is like a roll of biscuits that's busted open. Not the little measly biscuits, the Pillsbury Grands. Biscuit baby. You weigh 19.5 lbs and are 29 inches long. You have actually lost half a pound. You drag race across the floor, so it's no surprise. You just moved up into size 4 diapers. You're wearing size 12 month clothing. Teeth: Number three broke through on January 9th. Whereas most babies get their middle teeth first, you're a vampire baby. You inherited it from me. You're welcome. The corresponding vampire tooth and both front teeth are quite visible. I expect they'll be arriving soon. Development: You...

The 'R' word. I've been internally battling with myself on whether or not I should share my thoughts on the subject of religion. I know doing so will make me vulnerable to judgement and attack. I know most of my readers won't be able to relate. I know it's not what many of you want to hear. However, I've decided to say what I have to say for two reasons. 1.) This is who I am and I'm tired of omitting this part of myself to preserve the comfort of others. 2.) One time someone confided in me their true beliefs and I felt comforted in not being alone. Perhaps, this post will comfort someone out there who has felt shamed into silence. If you are easily offended regarding your religious beliefs, then you won’t enjoy this. If you are already thinking of rebuttals to defend your beliefs, then kindly ignore my existence in its entirety. I’ve heard it all.   I am not a Christian.  I was recently questioned as to exactly how I came to believe what I believe. Thi...

New Years. An ending point. A starting point. I've been going through a phase of reflection. Not just because it is the end of a year and the start of a new one, but because it is needed. I've been thinking about everything that has happened and how I've changed. In less than a week we will be moving across the country. I feel the need to evaluate before I move into this new phase of life. For a number of reasons, 2013 has been tough for me. Nothing particularly sad or shocking, just life. Busy life. Life-changing life. Having a baby changes everything. At times I think that I haven't handled it very gracefully, then other times I think it's normal and it's just that nobody talks about it. I've internally mourned the loss of freedom. I don't like to talk about it because it makes me feel like a bad mother. It makes me feel guilty. Adjusting hasn't been super easy. Saying things like this may make me sound selfish, or even regretful. But if it...

As the rest of the world was bringing boxes out of the attic and tenderly unpacking their ornaments, stockings, and other treasures that are only seen once a year, we were packing our home into boxes. It was ironic, seeing everyone proudly display photos of their tree or their mantle festooned with greenery and lights. We literally had nothing left in our house. It was in this way, along with others, that this Christmas was different. Ben graduated flight school on December 19 and we left Fort Rucker for good that same day. We decided to stay in a cabin at David Crockett State Park for a few days, including Christmas day. This is another way Christmas was different. It was the first year I've spent Christmas Eve night away from my mom and dad's house. The first Christmas day that I woke up somewhere else. I'd be lying if I said it didn't sadden me, but I know that I must sacrifice things in order to build a foundation of traditions for Violet. My childhood i...

These photos were taken during the third week of December. The top one was made in Violet's room a few days before the movers came to pick everything up. In a previous post I made about moving I was lamenting having to pack up this very room. All of it is now somewhere between Alabama and Washington. The photos below were taken right after the movers finished, so the house was completely empty. There are so many emotions that come with an empty home. Reflection, sadness, relief, anticipation. Every time we leave a home I can't help but linger in the empty rooms. Every sound echos off of the bare walls. I fondly remember memories from each room. I can't help but feel that I took my time there for granted. That I somehow let some of the memories slip away. That's just part of saying goodbye, even if you're not saying goodbye to a person. Every time we leave a home I have to say goodbye to a part of my life. It's not easy. Every home we have lived in repres...