Ashworth Alcove

September 27. Your birth was scheduled. It took time, but I finally came to terms with that. I found out the hard way with your sister that I was unable to have babies the way I had hoped. My pelvis is simply not the right size and shape to serve as a baby passage. My doctor told me I could choose a date for the surgery. I launched into an internal over analytical calendar frenzy. It felt like the heaviest burden to choose a person’s birthday. For someone who believes that babies come when they are ready, on a specific day, when the moon is right, and all that other witchy shit… There simply was no way to choose the “correct” day. Because the correct day wouldn’t be chosen at all. The day came to actually schedule the surgery. As I stood at the counter staring at my phone calendar, ready to commit to my chosen day, the lady told me that the Women’s Center would call me with a date after consulting the OR schedule and the doctor’s sc...

I’m pregnant. The will to meet this little human grows with the strength of each kick and roll. I’m in the third trimester now, with a due date in early October. I've wanted an October baby for selfish reasons. Simply because I love fall and I love October. Ben and Violet have spring birthdays, while mine is in the fall. It'll be nice to even things out a bit. There's a high probability that this baby will come at the end of September though, which I've accepted. September is no October, but it's a hell of a lot better than August. I anticipate welcoming a little libra into the family. Being a scorpio myself, I'm thankful to not have to raise one. It'd probably kill me. Time has flown. The first trimester was dictated by the worst throws of exhaustion and waves of uneasiness. Cravings that came in earlier days: French fries, spiced cider, key lime pie. The second was mostly uneventful, which I say thankfully. I slept well and felt prett...

Growth & Appearance: You stand 3 ft. 8 in. tall. You weigh 44 lbs. You wear size 5/6 clothing and size 12 shoe. You are very long. Your legs especially remind me of your Daddy's. Your hair is shoulder-length and stringy, with no real part. You prefer it down. These days your eyes are a darker blue. Your cheeks and forehead are dotted with freckles. You have several tiny moles on your body that you say are where fairies kiss you while you sleep. Eating: Favorite foods: Apples, quesadillas, cereal, beans, pizza, chicken noodle soup, and all the junk your future-diabetic self will have regretted loving. Disliked foods: Hamburgers, corn, tomatoes, cottage cheese is "the most disgusting." You have some training chopsticks from Korea. You eat with them often. You still call chips crackers. Sleeping: You go to bed at 8:30-9:00. You usually fall asleep reading books, but lately you've enjoyed doing brain question cards in bed. You grin...

Growth & Appearance: You stand 3 ft. 6 in. tall. You weigh 40 lbs. You wear size 5 clothing and size 11 shoe. You are tall and long. Your hair is medium brown and seems long lately. Slightly less stringy, still straight. You prefer your hair down, but if we put it up you request pigtails. Some days your eyes are steel blue and others they're brighter sky blue. You have new tiny freckles across your cheeks and nose. Eating: Most days you eat well. You love a variety of "dip sauces" and find them to be appropriate for most any food. One day you asked for barbecue sauce to dip your cornbread in. Favorite foods: Beans, chicken, macaroni, apples, oatmeal, cereal, chocolate, toast with grape jelly Disliked foods: Tomatoes, green beans, butter (who are you?), lots of other things you deem "gross" Fruit roll ups are holy grail. Sleeping: You no longer take naps and I've mourned the loss of it. You go to sleep at night very easily, usual...

Dear Violet, At mine and your Daddy's wedding reception we were under a severe tornado warning. Warning. As in, there was a tornado... on the ground. Some full-blown Aunty Em commotion. The rain beat against the windows, the thunder rattled them. We should have been taking cover. We should have stopped celebrating. Instead, we danced. We danced the best dancing we've ever done to a live band playing 'Last Dance with Mary Jane.' The band played and we celebrated the coming of the new year. After we rang our hearts out on the dance floor, we made our way through the torrential rain to our cabin at David Crockett State Park. He never carried me over the threshold. I could make up all kinds of believable reasons why this long-held custom failed to happen, but I'm pretty fond of the truth. And the truth is we were really really drunk. I had a startling streak of crimson stained down the front of my white dress. There are times you ask someone to hold your d...

List ten people who have influenced you. 1. My daugher, Violet: imaginative - kind - caring I once read in a book about palmistry that a sudden break or bend in your life line indicates a great change in life. Game changer, Violet was. She's a line-breaker and heart-filler. There's life before Violet, and life after Violet. The before seems comparatively boring to the after. She is continuously making me a better person, and the best part is - she has no idea. She genuinely enjoys the company of others and is unusually caring for a three year old, a quality that makes me proud and inspires me deeply. 2. My sister, Leslie/Sissy: intelligent - independent - ambitious She is so special. She is so damn intelligent, and always has been. Since I was young, her sharpness and the ease at which succeeding came to her has inspired me. We're the same in many ways and I've always been able to turn to her for sound advice, typically backed by a heavy dose of logic ...

You stand 3 ft. 4 in. tall. You weigh 38 lbs. You wear 4T clothing and size 9-10 shoe. You had a significant haircut just after your third birthday. We had you talked into a trim, but the girl before you had her hair cut into a blunt chin-length bob. You insisted. However, it's now just past your shoulders again. Still stringy, still straight, still slithering out of every ponytail I make in vain. You hate having your hair brushed. A handful of tiny moles sprinkle your body, including a tiny one on your face just beside your ear. You are loving. You are dramatic. I hear, "Oh... my... goodness" at least thirty times a day. One day you dramatically told me that your legs were SO tired that you simply couldn't get up, not even if there was a thunderstorm. When we flew from Seattle to Tennessee in August you dramatically yelled, "We're going down!" as we descended. You also referred to the clouds as "wind power clouds." You love to play, ...