Ashworth Alcove

Your big day was on Thursday this year. The day started with whip cream and sprinkles, with a side of pancakes. The day ended with a bubble machine in the backyard and ice cream cake. Your party was on Saturday. Guests included: your friends from the cul-de-sac, your favorite coworkers of mine - Chris and Tammy, and Nonnie, who traveled all the way from Tennessee. As requested, the theme was yellow and chocolate.

You stand 3 ft. 3 in. tall. You wear 3T-4T clothing and size 8 shoe. Some days your eyes seem more of a gray-blue. Your hair is well past your shoulders and stringy straight. It's soft and fine and slithers out of every pony tail that I've made in vain. You've only had the one haircut just before turning two. I've offered to take you for a trim but you insist that it will hurt. You have a few tiny moles that have appeared - one on your back, one on your arm and one on the back of each thigh. You are kind. At three, you are more thoughtful than most adults. When your birthday party guests arrived, you promptly began handing out party favors to each one - even me. Then you began handing out drinks. Just days ago I was laying down with a horrible headache and you brought me your vitamins and promised it would make me better. You are incredibly capable of doing things for yourself, which makes you feel empowered and independent. You are funny and dramatic at time...

She jotted down something on a post-it with her pink pen. Then she reached across the air that separated us and stuck the little paper on my notebook. It had the dates of two different weekends scrawled across it and that was it. Puzzled, I looked to her for an explanation. "Pick one," she said. "Pick when you'd like to go stay at the cabin." You see, this person's family has a cabin right on the lake. I had been extra stressed and she happens to be extra kind. That person is a coworker - my boss, to be exact. Sometimes in life we find ourselves in the company of kind people who recognize when your soul needs some nourishment.

Back in December I entered an essay contest. The prize - A 42 acre farm in Tennesssee. In my hometown, no less. The winner would be contacted on Christmas Eve. I went over the scenario in my head... What receiving that call on Christmas Eve would feel like. I longed for it. Unfortunately, per the contest rules, they did not receive enough entries. They refunded the entry fees and now I'm left with this non-winning essay. This was the first essay I had written in a few years. It was a challenging one, because the stakes were high. Nothing came of it, but even so, I am glad I took the time to write it. Fun fact: Contest rules stated there was 500 word maximum. My word count? 500. Nurturing the Flame     Every individual has something special that brings him or her joy. It is a flame within us. It is heart-warming and nourishes our soul. My flame is Tennessee. I have a yearning that is quenched only by the simple wonderments of a country life there. As a child ...

This post was started in November, so now it's more like 2.65 or something. You weigh 33 lbs and stand 38" tall. You're in 3T-4T clothing and size 8 shoe.  You are completely potty-trained. Honestly, the process was easy as pie. You know all the colors, can sing the full ABC's, and count to 20, though you often skip 10. You can point out all the shapes, even a hexagon. You can also identify your numbers. You go to school three days a week. Your teachers tell me you have two good friends there, Aubrey and Emma. Aside from those two, you spend more time interacting with the adults than the other children. Fox goes with you every day. When I pick you up and ask what you did that day you always say, "I pwayed wif my fwiends!" You love school buses and get very excited when we see one. We always look for them while in the car. You also like to tell me where to go while driving. You'll point and say, "Dis way!" You have full co...

What are five passions you have? 1. Violet - My passion, my best buddy, my inspiration, my favorite person of all time, the coolest being in the history and future of the known and unknown. Everything good and right in my world. 2. Family - The most important thing I have in this life is the people who are in it. These people give me love, support, and great comfort. Living far away makes seeing them extra special and makes missing them very easy. 3. Nature - Gazing at Mt. Rainier towering over this land is humbling and makes me feel like a part of something larger. The changing of seasons stirs my soul, especially the transition into fall. Being in the woods activates some primitive intuition within me. Our ancestors worshiped nature, and yet humankind is now completely disconnected from all of it, from this planet we live on. The loss of being grounded is a true loss for humankind. 4. By-gones - Genealogy, antiques, old crafts and skills our great-grandfathers knew, old reci...

Every so often I find myself slipping down into my muddy hole. I just can't get any traction to climb back up. Some days I'll give a weak try, only for my foot to slip. I just slide right back down into the muddy hole I know well. So most days I don't even bother trying to get out. I just get comfortable there in the hole, which is detrimental on many levels. The muddy hole is depression. Famously, Winston Churchill referred to his depression as “the black dog.” Sitting on his lap, it haunted him. It's the perfect metaphor. However, I actually have a real life black dog so that one doesn't work as well for me. My relationship with this foe began with anxiety. Over time it morphed. I was the cocoon - a vessel for anxiety to live within. Within the cocoon existed the perfect environment for the anxiety to transform. It hibernated, then contorted itself just before emerging as depression. I say emerged because the depression transcends beyond me. The depression i...